Life: Left Me Blindly Here To Stand
Family is oftentimes the most critical of
audiences. They can be unreasonable, unrelenting and unforgiving all
wrapped up in a tiny little package that goes boom at the slightest
miscommunication.
The problem comes that they don’t give the benefit
of the doubt. They have a long and perhaps troublesome history with you
and they can’t therefore view you with impartiality or objectivity.
Change is difficult for everyone and it is troubling
when you have made such an arduous journey to become something more, to expand
your horizons, your views, feelings and outlook to be dragged down by your past
history with those supposedly closest to you.
It’s why children move away as they grow up trying
to forge their own ideas and ideals building onto the foundations they got from
their parents, friends and experiences throughout youth.
Is it impossible to have a difference of opinion and
be friends as well? I can respect a person but not their views, the
reverse is also true. I can absolutely hate a person but still respect
him. But then so what? What is that respect worth to you
anyway? Do you need validation that badly that you cannot be civilized?
Associative Regression is another little watch
phrase from ye olde Psychology handbook. Associative Regression happens
when people revert back to an earlier version of themselves when confronted
with people or situations from their past and around family this is
problematic.
Reverting back for some can be disastrous when
trying to establish the opposite. After striving for so long trying to
become more than what you were you are seemingly forever stuck with other
people’s preconceived perceptions based on your past.
"The past is a foreign country: they do things
differently there."[i].
It’s difficult to move beyond the past with much
succession where family is concerned. Because of your history together
they can’t bring themselves to look unto you as a changed person.
All they can see is that young idiotic child you
once were and all the stupid things you did back in the day of crooked teeth
and acne and given the opportunity they’ll divulge those details to anyone who
would listen.
And so we respond in kind until everything is out in
the open, the damage done, broken boughs and backs and never speak to the other
for as long as you both may live.
So what to do. Do we take what’s behind
curtain one and go for the option of retreating and cutting all lines of
communication. Seems easy enough. Do we draw back curtain two and
launch a counter strike. It’s feasible but dangerous. Civilians
could get caught in the crossfire and you’ll end up with more enemies to deal
with.
Or do we go for what’s inside that box. Inside
that unassuming, humble looking box is hope.
That little box might very well be the closest damn
thing to actual magic in existence because no matter what option you chose to
start with it will still be there waiting for a little bit of maturity.
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