It's Not Aimed At Anyone

Life: All Hail The Static GLow

I have come to the conclusion that Hollywood thinks that I'm an idiot. I've had my suspicions for a while now of course, never daring to challenge the status quo but Hollywood's absolute lack of luster of late has made me finally draw the line and say "What the hell?!"

I look at the blank faces around me all staring at the screen, none raise their objections or give a hint as to their suspicions that something isn't quite right. In what furnace was thy brain that one can simply accept the blatantly predictable nature of cinema. Those Hollywood bastards aren't even trying anymore. Is original thought truly dead that we've reverted to reboots, remakes, prequels, never-ending sequels, all with the old and tired formulaic plot.
E.g. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love then boy screws up momentously and spends the rest of the movie trying to get back in her good graces.  

Because it is Hollywood, Planet Hollywood, they do things differently there. Things like physics for a start. The type of physics where Batman's boomerangs can cut down 20 of Joker's boot-licking lackeys (with no sign of slowing down) and magically return (unsullied). As the owner of two returning boomerangs that have seen some use during my time in their native land I can unequivocally declare that Batman's boomerang is nothing but bulltwang. It doesn't work that way. 

Hollywood has the type of physics where laser pistols have recoil. This is troubling because if a device shoots light then why should it have recoil? "What the hell?!" Of course a device that shoots light would give one the idea that light would still travel at 300,000,000 meters per how the hell do people continue to dodge it?

Where is that sense of excitement that I felt in my younger days? The sense of something new and wonderful. Films lured me in with the promise of boldly going where no man has gone before (split infinitives notwithstanding). I am tired of stereotypical villains and cardboard cutout heroes. Villains that want to destroy the world - while their still on it or heroes that can catch a plane in mid air yet somehow struggle to break down a door.

I want things to make sense again. I want my fiction to provide me with a means of, not only escaping from - but escaping to as well. I want to escape to a place of magic and wonder, of mystery and intrigue and I want to come back better for my time away. 

Let's waste no more time arguing over what good fiction should be and let's instead teach the young to put greater value on good fiction. Let's explore beyond the boundaries of what we know and venture boldly into the wide blue yonder. Throw away your maps. Ignore the signs that read Hic sunt Dracones. We have always known that there have been dragons. True fiction, proper fiction, tells us that dragons can be slain.

ad astra per aspera 

Speech: Parting of the Ways

While trying to clear some space and sorting out my files on the laptop I decided to upload a few of my speeches. Perhaps there is still some value in these words.

This speech was written to honour our former principal as she left our good company in pursuit of her field of dreams.

Dear Miss Marthelle,

Your time at the Dolphin Schools must feel like a jumble of mixed emotions and confusing paradoxes.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was a time of joyous jubilation and dreading despair. But you faced it all and you still stand tall.

Every day, you accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and never miss a beat in between.

While your time with us is nearly done and you prepare to take on the whole wide world, you can say with pride that you survived the Dolphin Schools.  

Wherever you go, yearly on the vigil you will rouse your neighbours and say “Tomorrow is the day I survived the Dolphin Schools,” then will you strip your sleeves and show your scars and say with pride “These wounds, I got fighting for the Dolphin Schools.

Throughout your time with us you made us smile, you made us laugh and you made us cry – many times.

But you toughed it out beside us through thick and thin and taught us to be brave in times of change and challenge and excel on the battlefields of academics, sport and culture. To never be cruel nor cowardly and to never give up, never give in.

Miss Marthelle, thank you so much for your life, love and leadership. May the sun always be at your back and the road rise to greet you and the future warned at you your approach – cause there’s a storm a comin.

Always remember that no matter where you go or how far you run, you can never escape our love and you will always have a home in our hearts.

Speech: Never give up and never give in

While trying to clear some space and sorting out my files on the laptop I decided to upload a few of my speeches. Perhaps there is still some value in these words

This speech I gave the morning of 23 February for the Elementary School assembly.


Before I even start. 

Before I’m even going to greet you I want you to stand up.

UP youse mugs. NICE!
Now Stretch out. To the left. To the right. Now Touch Your head. Good.
Now touch your friends head. Nice!
Now sit down.
Good Morning Dolphins!!!
Excellent. Now we’re cookin’.

I have four things that I want to talk about today and hopefully you’ll remember them when I’m done.  

If you’re having trouble remembering then just remember the acronym ROOF.

The First thing is RESPECT.  Respect (High voice) Respect (Batman voice)
Say it with me.

RESPECT for others, respect for yourself and respect for the world around you.
If you have a respect for others, then others will respect you. It’s that simple.
But if you tease your classmates or throw little blocks at them GRADE 3s, then you can soon find yourself all alone without any friends.

Don’t be that person.

If you want to get anywhere then you’ll need people who will help you in times of trouble. Remember the three little pigs.

When the big bad wolf came knockin on Mike the pig’s house and said LET ME IN (BATMAN VOICE) What did Mike the Pig say?

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

Didn’t know that pigs have chins but there you go.
Anyway the wolf blew down the house and Mike ran all the way to Bob’s house. Mike and Bob, working together put on locks, they block the door they did everything they could to make the house stronger. Walter the wolf came and did his usual routine and tried blowing down Bob’s house. But this time it was far more difficult because Bob and Mike worked together to make the house stronger.

After Walter the wolf blew and blew till he was red blue and purple in the face the house blew down. Bob and Mike ran to Sam and all three worked together to make the house so strong that Wolfie Walter couldn’t blow it down.

But the story could have ended in another way. If Mike was a jerk and if he didn’t have respect for others then Bob would never have let him in through the door.

Next is Opportunity.  Everyday, every week, every month and every year brings us so many opportunities but we don’t take it. If you have the chance to do something then take that chance and do it. Even if it’s hard work. There is opportunity in everything even in a crisis.

When written in Chinese the word crisis is composed of two characters.
One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. Because to them they are the same thing. Nothing worth doing is easy and nothing worth having is free. The best things always takes effort and it is always worth it in the end.

Next thing is Okay. Or rather saying Okay to more things. Involve yourself more in the lives of friends and family. If a friend asks will you come fishing with him then say Okay. Even if you’re the worst fisherman in the world and the very idea of spending time away from your xbox seems ridiculous, you’ll remember the trip for years and years while the xbox game is long forgotten the next week. Those kinds of things makes life worth living. Enter competitions. Go out more. Make new friends. Try new things. Say OKAY.

Last is Failure. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes or not succeeding in the first try.  We learn more from mistakes than we do from victories.

Who knows the story of the three wise men? How they saw the star over Bethlehem and brought gifts to honour the birth of Jesus.
Who knows what they brought?
Gold, Mehr and Frankinsince.

Now, when I was in grade 1 – which was so long ago you need higher maths to figure it out. I was in a play about the birth of Jesus and played one of the wise men.
When my turn came I delivered my line flawlessly
“I bring you this gift of gold” perfect. The boy next to me said
“I bring you this gift of Mehr” no problem.

Then my friend had to deliver his line and he forgot what it was
We waited patiently for about a minute while the Sunday school teacher was pulling out her hair mouthing the lines Frankincense , Frankincense

Then he yelled. “Oh right. Frank Sent Us.” He got it wrong. The fool. Everybody was laughing at him. The next year he was back. And everybody teased him “Ah look, its Frank Sent Us”

He didn’t care, he was there to do something that he wanted to do and no amount of teasing was going to stop him.

Never give up and never give in. If you want to get something you want. Then try and try and try.

Remember ROOF.
Respect for others.
Take opportunities
Say okay more
And be afraid to fail.

Have a good week everybody. 

Speech: To the Future, and Beyond!

While trying to clear some space and sorting out my files on the laptop I decided to upload a few of my speeches. Perhaps there is still some value in these words.

This short speech I wrote for one of my students who needed to say something as part of her induction in the Rotary Club. Due to excellent writing and an hour of coaching she received a standing ovation for her performance.


Good evening to one and all,

And an especial welcome to Mr. Buddy – our supervisor,
To our principals for your loving care and attention
Mrs. Einbeck (from Duneside High School)
Mrs. Yiglaar (from Walvis Bay Private High School)

As well as Mrs. Theart (From the great Dolphin School). And to my fellow members who are eagerly awaiting to be inducted into this prestigious society.

I believe I can safely speak for everyone when I say that we are honoured to have you all here with us.

Life is so busy these days that making time for others is considered a luxury. A luxury that most simply cannot afford. So your presence here is precious gift to us.
Baie Dankie, Ons Waardeer dit.

Your support in what we do shows us that what we do is important. This is a great day. Just take a look around. From different schools we come marching, in the contrasting colours of our uniforms we stand here together, 


Sorry – I got carried away. United we stand as the bright light in the face of shadows that plague the world around us. We will pave the way to a better tomorrow not just for our city but for our country and our world.

Friends, Family, Countrymen. Lend me your ears. I call on you to make the world of tomorrow, happen today.

Thank you.

Speech: March Away and Expose the Day

This particular speech I wrote for the Head Girl of 2013 to be read as her farewell address.


To Mrs. Theart, our beloved principal whose guidance, understanding and firm hand led us through the years. To our teachers who have given up a lot of time and effort for us, especially Mrs. Margaret who tirelessly drilled us for moderation and finally to my friends and fellow Grade 12s of 2013.

Over the last few years here at DOLPHIN, we have learned a lot.
From Mr. Wales we learned how to formulate a quadratic expression, attack canoes with Pythagoras and slice through the intrepid waters with equilateral triangles.

 Mr. Brandt taught us that there is more than one way to skin a cat, or acquire a chicken or three and that there is always room for Pi.

Mr. Ngandu taught us that no matter what, when building a hall always make sure you know how the roof is going to fit.

All of this knowledge will no doubt be valuable as we go forward in life. But I think that the most important thing we have learned over the years is that we are stronger when we stick together, that we should respect those around us and their differences and finally how much we need each other to succeed.

Again, the most important thing we learned was that we are strongest when we stand as one. Unfortunately not all of us made it. We started out as eight and ended up as seven. Pedro who left the school but not our hearts will for always be in our memory.  Pedro, wherever you are now, from all of us I’d like to thank you for sharing a little bit of your life with us.

Soon we’ll be on our way into the world. We’ll sign each other’s books and say goodbye. We’ll laugh and cry and remember the good times and promise to stay in touch. But we’ll be busy living our lives and doing our very best thanks to everyone that stood with us through our school days.

As a final thought I would like to say that he who outlives this day and comes safe home will stand a tip-toe when this day is named. May we always carry the lessons with us wherever we may go.

Thank you one and all.

Speech: For Love Remembered Such Wealth Brings

While trying to clear some space and sorting out my files on the laptop I decided to upload a few of my speeches. 


Good Morning.
(wait for response)
Let’s try that again.

Stand up shake about. Sit down.


That’s good all that’s real good. 

Firstly. Welcome back, I hope you all had a great holiday. How many of you went away for the holiday. Hands up, yeah.  Wonderful.

We’re starting a new term and with a new term comes new challenges. There are new problems that we need to overcome, new opportunities that we need to take, new roads that we can explore.

But as much as we have the opportunity to start with new things we need to occasionally take a look back at where we were. Where we come from. We need to do this so we can better understand where we are going.

Everyone here has had some good times and bad times, happy times and sad times. But you should know that nothing lasts forever not even those times when we are sad.  Nothing is the same from one moment to the next.  And that is not always a bad thing.

But when things get tough.  We need to keep moving forward. Sometimes when things get difficult then we want to take a step back. We want to sit and wait it out until things get better. But you have to keep moving forward.

How many of you like surprises?  Show of hands.


Nobody likes surprises. The only time we like a surprise is when we know that it’s going to be good. The rest of the time we call them problems.  But we need problems. We need them just as much as much as we need surprises.

I know you’re thinking,  “What? That doesn’t make any sense? The old man has finally lost it.”

But listen, there is method to the madness. There’s probably a bit of madness in the madness as well but listen anyway.

We need problems because we become stronger because of them. Every time you have a problem and you beat that sucker down. You have become a better person. You took control of your life and you made something of it. But to do that you have to make a decision.

That doesn’t always mean that the decisions you will make will always be the right one. Nobody makes the right decision all the time.  It just doesn’t happen. But if you want to become great, if you want to win in life and become successful then you have to be able to trust yourself and the decisions you make.

1. Trust yourself
When I say trust yourself. What I want is for you all to dig deep down and ask yourself: ‘who do I want to be?’. Not what, but who. I’m not talking about becoming a Doctor, or a Lawyer or anything like that. I’m not talking about what your parents or teachers wants you to be. I’m talking about you! Figure out for yourself, what makes you happy, no matter how crazy it may sound to the people around you.

2. Break the rules
Be prepared to break the rules. Not the law. I’m not saying you should go out there and steal some cars or anything like that. But we have so many rules in life about everything, break the rules! It is impossible to be truly original if you never take a chance, you have to think outside the box. What is the point of being on this world if all you want is to be like everybody else?

3. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake
You can’t win all the time but in the end there’s no excuse for not even trying. You can’t always win, but don’t be afraid of making decisions. You can’t be stopped by fear of losing or you will never push yourself. You keep pushing because you believe in yourself and in your dream and you know that it is the right thing to do. When you do this success will come.

You will lose more often than you win, but when that happens, you stand up again and again and again. You do it as many times as you need until you get it right.

4. Don’t listen to the naysayer
How many times have you heard: you can’t do this, you can’t do that. It has never been done before. I want you to tune out all these negative people who tell you that dreams aren’t going to happen.

5. Work your butt off!
If you want to make a success of your life then there’s one thing that you cannot do without. And that is hard work. If you play around all the time and don’t take your work seriously then just remember that someone else out there at the same time is working hard, someone is getting smarter, remember that! There is basically 24 hours a day, you sleep 6 hours. That means you have 18 hours left. I know that some of you out there are saying: ‘wait a minute I sleep 8 or 9 hours’. Well, than sleep faster I recommend.

FINALLY I want to talk about Focus.
I want you all to stand up.
Now shake about.
Now look around and find a bunch of things that are green.
Now sit down, close your eyes and remember all the things that were brown.

Most of us are going to have trouble coming up with many examples. Now open your eyes take another look around and find things that are brown.

You found a lot more examples.  And why because
Seek and you shall….find.

When you put your attention on something that you want and you put in every effort to accomplishing that goal then nothing will be able to stand in your way.

I want you all to have a great term and start to take the steps needed to become as great as I know you can be.


Speech: To The Last Syllable of Recorded Time

While trying to clear some space and sorting out my files on the laptop I decided to upload a few of my speeches. 


Hello and Good evening.
As always I appreciate being asked to speak to such wonderful and awesome individuals such as yourselves.
Another year is done and it is time to honour those who seized every moment to achieve their goals.
Firstly I want to say thank you to Mrs. Coetzee for all her incredible and unrelenting effort in making this night special for those here tonight.
I also want to thank Mr. Rigby as the principal of the elementary school for being a constant source of hope and inspiration to us all.

Now—to the matter at hand.
Tonight not simply about awards and trophies.
Don’t worry you’ll get all those things too. But tonight is about more than that. Tonight is about showing you that others have taken notice of your great deeds.
Many times it becomes easy to lose hope or steer off track because you start to think “why am I putting in all this effort if nobody cares, if no-one notice.”
I telling you now. We have taken notice we do most certainly care about all you wild and wonderful creatures here who work so hard to become the best that you can be. We know it’s not always easy. We know that there are ups and downs in your life and maybe a few lefts and rights.
And we know that there were times that it would have been so much easier to just say…
NOPE! Not gonna happen. Times when you wanted to just throw over your desk, burn all your books and dance merrily around the fire in the moonlight. Saying things like “yeah!! How do you like those thermodynamics?”
Times when you just wanted to give up and go to bed.
But you didn’t! You stood your ground every step of the way. Come rain or sand or snow, or even that really intense fish smell from the harbour you didn’t give in.
And that is why we are here tonight, what we are truly celebrating. Tonight you’re going to take your certificate, medal or trophy or whatever and you’re going to go home. You’ll find a nice spot to put it and show it to everyone proudly. But you’ll realize that those things mean less to you than the ability to look yourself in the mirror and say
“Damn, you are awesome”
And you’ll be right. You are awesome. You are incredible. You set out and achieved something through hard work. You had to suffer through fear and people telling you that you can’t reach your goal. It’s impossible. You nodded your head and did it anyway and came out on top. That is what you earned and that is why you are here.
As much as tonight is about celebrating past victories it’s also a reminder that the road ahead is full of peril. But if you know what lies ahead and know who you truly are you will not have to fear the outcome of a hundred battles.
If you arm yourself with the right tools, then nothing will be able to stand in your way.
There are 5 things needed to become the best you that you possibly can be.
On your long and winding road strength, courage, mastery and honour are the tools and weapons of the modern warrior. And the good thing is it never runs out of ammo.
Some of you mathemagicians out there noticed that I said five and counted four. The final piece is to become antifragile – more on that later.
As with all things proper it is best to start at the start.
So we’ll start with strength. There are many different kinds of strength and you will need to be able to rely on your strength to carry you through the days to come. Strength of character is to be able to stay true to your beliefs and ideals while everyone else falls in with the crowd. Strength is important to protect, to create and to keep on keeping on even when all you want to do is go home have a chockie and watch TV. Strength is the ability to pick yourself up one more time after being knocked down, failure after failure never giving up and never giving in.
Courage. Courage is needed in all things. It’s easy when you’ve come so far to want to wait, to rest, just a little instead of putting one foot in front of the other, to step into the unknown. Courage is taking on the big challenges and seeing it through to the end.
You can all be whatever you want to be. You have that potential. I know it, you know, we see it. It is there.
You can shed your prisons and fly
You can depart the earth and kiss the sky
Because in each of you there is a creature free
That is not trapped at birth by destiny.
MASTERY. To master something is to gain complete understanding and awareness of it. You must master yourself as well as your environment. You all have great potential but you’re not perfect – I know it seems difficult to believe, but it’s true.
Too many times have we lost control because of this or that. Because of he/she/them/they/it because we could not control ourselves because we didn’t prepare.

HONOUR is very important. We are people living in a world full of other people all of whom are looking out for themselves and no one else. Try s you might no-one can always stand alone. We need the love of others and rely on the kindness of strangers. If you can’t show them the way of honesty, of staying true to your word, showing discipline and respect. If you are unable to forgive or help then why should any of them do the same. Honour is who you are when no-one is looking. It starts in the beginning of the day and not when it is most convenient. Be the change you wish to see in others.
Now for Antifragile. When something is fragile it breaks easily when put under pressure and has no potential to become something more.
You need to be the opposite. You need to become antifragile. When you are tried and tested, when burdened with so much you will become stronger for it. You will fall and stumble as we all do but you will not let the bad days be the boss of you. You learn from your mistakes when you make them. You get up and try again and again and you will never stop growing stronger, ever.
Stay true to who you are. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. In the fell clutch of circumstance, you neither winch nor cry aloud. You are the master of your fate and captain of your soul.
I expect great things from you all in the future.
Reach for the future with the same determination that you have already shown and others will follow your example.
Be safe, be happy and keep on being that incredibly wonderful and amazing you that you are.

Bye for now.